dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
Randomize
