Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
Randomize
