Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
I woke up naked in my bathtub at 5:30 this morning. There's legit a spray tan body print of me in the fetal position in my tub.
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
I just sang Hey Jude with a homeless man and then we drank beer together. Then I watched asians take pictures under a xmas tree for an hour and fell asleep in an MGM Grand bathroom stall. #AloneinVegas
I am one with the molecules
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
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