They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
Randomize
