$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
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