I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
did i just pee glitter
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
Randomize
