I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
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