When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
I tried telling the cop that I don't do drugs, and that if he'd just take me home I could prove it by showing him my D.A.R.E. certificate.
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
You were wearing a cookie monster onesie and telling everyone you were actually the sausage monster..
On the bright side I still got laid
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
Randomize
