just ate pastrami before passing out in my hotel room. My room smells like a petting zoo
There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
They have beer where we have blood.
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
Randomize
