He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
Randomize
