the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
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