Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
Please tell me why I’m standing naked in the kitchen drinking pickle juice out of the jar & there is a container of potatoe salad with no lid & a spoon in it on the floor 🤦♀️
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