i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
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