so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
I knew you were drunk when you poured scotch on a croissant and ate it.
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
the cop asked if i was drunk and i responded with "breathalize me, cap'n". incidentally, he was a captain and i blew a .13.
Not to make this awkward, but if we ever have sex (perhaps drunkenly), all i'm gonna be able to think about is how sexy our kids would be.
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
Randomize
