i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
I'd like to be surprised that there's a picture of someone pouring champagne in my boobs on Instagram, but I can't.
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
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