I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
you are my patron saint of "too drunk for 9am". i just keep asking myself what would alyssa do as i try to regain motor function
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
Based on the fact my iPad is covered in pizza, I'm going to assume I ate pizza last night
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
Randomize
