After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
Worse: texted mom-in-law by mistake that I sharted.
Worser: she offered to clean me up
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
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