so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
Coworker just walked in thirty minutes late reeking like weed and clutching a handful of scratch-off tickets. Also, there’s still a stripper pole in my office. Happy Wednesday!
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