apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
Randomize