the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
Randomize
