as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
Randomize
