The bird has been looking kind of ugly lately...gotta look nice to fly with the hawk ya know?
Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
Randomize