it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
Randomize
