apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
I need a burrito and a hug.
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
Randomize
