I hope mine doesn't look like that
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
Randomize
