Where did you get a picture of my penis
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
I literally paid cover, got kicked out. Tried to explain that I was just clumsy, but mispronounced it. Then I got pissed off, stormed out..and clotheslined myself on a velvet rope. How was your night?
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
Randomize
