I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
zippers are such a cool invention
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
remind me to get a blood sugar test this week. I'm pretty sure I'm a mojito away from diabetes.
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
Fantasizing about the apocalypse is fun and shit until the conditions that could lead to one suddenly seem feasible
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
Randomize
