Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
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