The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
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