I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
Welp last night I made out with the guy who slices my deli meat at publix. I'm sure there's a joke there but I'm too hungover to find it. Go noles.
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
