Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
Woke up this morning to a bunch of snapchats of you drunkenly yelling at grasshoppers. Good night?
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
Randomize
