PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
Her mom drove me home after I blew a .13 So there I am wishing her mom a happy mother's day sitting in the passenger seat where I just banged her daughter 15 min prior
About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
I still have that dildo-suction bruise on my forehead and this sweater STILL smells like my Christmas Eve vomit.
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