I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
Randomize
