We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
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