i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
I tried telling the cop that I don't do drugs, and that if he'd just take me home I could prove it by showing him my D.A.R.E. certificate.
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
Randomize