Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
You insisted that your middle name was "velociraptor" for 20 minutes and every time someone said something you tried to relate it to velociraptors. That kind of drunk.
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
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