i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
Just rescued a super cute pair of Gucci heels off the sorority lawn on my way to work. Things are worth two paychecks. Fuck trust fund kids.
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
Randomize
