kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
I'm about to punish you for sending me a Snapchat of your boyfriend's morning wood
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
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