I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
Randomize
