I gave up sex with dolphins for you.
i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
Afterwards the first thing I said was, "You know, you're probably the first guy who has ever gotten laid wearing Star Wars pajama bottoms."
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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