Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
I bought a Christmas tree in my drunken state last night, after walking a half mile in search of vino and prior to my apparently playing boardgames with my boyfriend's family. There is no way you are on my level.
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
Randomize
