they need to just BURY HIM!
what the fuck. my fiance told me she called our wedding band last night and told them to perform "best i ever had" for our first dance
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
They invented a new game at work. Its called guess if I'm baked, hungover, drunk, or some combination of the three. Its surprisingly very difficult..
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
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