If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
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