just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
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