hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
Looking through last night's sexting, realized one is a haiku..
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
Randomize
