Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
Are you alive? Cause this is my official "im actually alive" text.
Randomize
