Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
You can't just call animal control when you're drunk because there is a bug in the shower.
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
I'M GOING TO DIE ALONE WITHOUT ANYONE PRETENDING TO BE A MARRIED COUPLE WHILE DRUNK AT A MALL WITH ME
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
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