a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
Randomize
