Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
Just spent 15 minutes trying to save the life of a fruit fly that dive-bombed my coffee. I figured it doesn't make sense to let two souls die in this place...
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
Update: drank half a bottle of Bourbon and texted three ex's. Waiting for the roommates to go to sleep so I can raid the fridge.
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
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