just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
The woman at the nail salon waxing my lip just showed me the strip with all the hair on it while smirking. Apparenltly 'you have a stache' can be communicated through a language barrier.
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
I can’t believe you’re letting her use the Mercedes
It seemed like a better idea while she was giving me a hand job. It’s a good thing we weren’t having sex. Who knows what I would agree to during sex
Randomize
