What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
it's too hot outside to masturbate.
One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
you texted me last night and told me you couldn't find the toilet.
That explains the puddle of pee in my closet.
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
Land dolphins.
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
Randomize
