Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
he convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. he slurred every word. i think i found my prince charming.
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
Randomize
