Where is the hickey?
U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
dear life, i get it, drinking is not a contest
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
A girl just asked me if we had pregnancy tests and a coworker had to stop me from telling her I was a pregnancy test. THAT is why I don't drink at work.
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
Block me from your phone tonight…I need to get laid tonight. But you've been being a douchebag. So not by you. But I might call you. So block me.
WHY WOULD I COCK BLOCK MYSELF???
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