I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
Randomize
