do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
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