dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
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