question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
Promise me, at my funeral, you will re-enact our human sledding incident of 2011....you can use my dead body as said sled.
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
Randomize
