ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex
You and your mom would make an amazing tag team
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
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