we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
AHHHHHHHHH. I LEFT A GLASS NEXT TO ME WHEN I FELL ASLEEP I'M SO SURE IT WAS WATER BUT NOW IT'S VODKA JESUS MADE A STOP
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
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